My Online Journal
check out my shitty nyazsche knockoff comics!
Link to this year's blog here (complete with shitty comics):
Important Notes
Saving for list
High priority
- Pay off debt // outcome: no debt, way less stress, don't starve, happiness
- Laptop upgrade // outcome: makes computer tasks easier and faster, including Blender rendering
- Canvases for painting // outcome: more paintings, sell for more money
- Better glasses // outcome: can see the dang screen properly
- Dental work for my cat (insurance won't cover it) // outcome: Sparkles isn't in pain (in the future)
Low priority
- An online course for Python (once Blender course is finished - don't judge, I'm 100x better with courses than self-learning) // outcome: know Python and can code, finally
- Savings for a beast PC // outcome: better Blender models, can sell for more profit
- Future service dog savings (just in case I need to self-fund) // outcome: a psychiatric service dog that I love
ADHD-Friendly Pro Tips:
More of a reminder to myself, than anything.
I have ADHD, and these tips help immensely, when I remember them. Copy/paste them anywhere you need, spread them around, try them out, keep what works and discard the rest.
1: Write the ideal outcome to your task next to the task.
// outcome: you become a lot more motivated and can visualise your goals better.
2: Just get the draft down. Much easier to fix something that exists than to come up with something perfect that doesn’t exist yet.
// outcome: much easier to complete tasks
3: When possible, go over things multiple times until you thoroughly understand them. You'll know you do when you can do the task effortlessly and with little thought. E.g. when learning Blender, practice with say, the Knife tool until you thoroughly understand how to use it and efforlessly remember the hotkey when prompted. Pretend you're showing a friend how to use it. Can you explain it a way a non-blender nerd will understand? Do this IRL if you have the opportunity.
// outcome: become an expert
4: Boredom is your friend. When the alternative to working on your skills is mind-numbing boredom, you will work on your skills. A lot.
// outcome: productive
5: Make it easy to start. Make your tasks easily accessible. If you want to learn to code, keep a tab open with code that is ready to go, where you know what the next step is. Always try to know what your next easiest, tiniest step is.
// outcome: organized
6: if you feel like shit, do these... Have a nap. Don't think you need a nap? Lie down, get comfy, and close your eyes for a while. You probably do. If that doesn't fix it, have a good warm shower. If you're in physical pain, stretch. Stretching does wonders for pain. You can get cheap items to help you stretch in the fitness section of your local equivalent to Kmart.
// outcome: may change your life, or at least your outlook on it
7: documentation is for more than just code. document everything.
// outcome: holds yourself accountable, keeps you motivated because you can see your progress
8: doing a hundred mini projects is better than one large project. when learning something or building a portfolio, always start with small projects are easily achievable. get in that mileage. many different small projects require getting good at many different skills, much more than just one project will. start with small paintings at first. this applies to everything.
// outcome: motivated, have many things to show for what you are doing
9: put it where you can see it. whatever you need to do, put it where you will see it or run into it every day, many times a day. if you constantly sort through your tabs, put a tab for coding there so you see it. if you need to remind yourself of something, put it where you will touch it, not just see it. so, if you need to take the dog for a walk, tape a sticky note to the doorhandle of the bathroom, a place where you go first thing in the morning. make the reminder of the thing unavoidable.
// outcome: actually remember to do the thing. half of success is just remembering to do the thing enough that you actually try
10: be the loser that tried. Infinitely better to be the loser that tried than the loser who said they could but didn't.
// outcome: avoid regret, self-growth
11: if it hurts, take a break (or stop). If it hurts to do something too much, emotionally or physically, and it's to the point where you're starting to hate it, stop. Growth is not forcing yourself to be in unnecessary pain. This is punishment, and punishment builds fear, not discipline. There are no trophies for ramming yourself into the dirt.
// outcome: patience and grace towards yourself; self-care
12: if you feel anxious about watching courses/tutorials (not youtube, time suck), turn the sound off and read the subtitles. Make the screen smaller, too, if possible. Seriously, for some reason my ADHD brain thinks I'm not techincally "doing" the task if it has no sound. Even moreso if the video isn't full-screen. I'm not sure why this works, but it helps a lot. I normally get a lot of anxiety around starting things.
outcome // actually start and finish things and somehow doesn't feel like "real" work, but it is
13: set a time to do the task, and start doing it way earlier than that (hours, even days if it's in your weekly schedule). It feels like cheating, plus it feels like you're way head of schedule. There's no time pressure when you're doing stuff early, even if the time was arbitrary. Also, take your time doing it so you do the task thoroughly. You're early, after all!
// outcome: chill way to complete tasks
QUITTING SOCIAL MEDIA (not this site dw)
For 2025 and onwards, starting now, I am quitting all social media except to create content.
ultimate goal: learn to have these things in moderation. do not let them overtake my productivity and things I truly value.
THIS IS TEMPORARILY ON HOLD UNTIL SAFER LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES.
This means I'm quitting watching/using (aside from content creation):
- Looking for new products on Etsy, Amazon, literally any other website, unless I actually need something specific, and then and only then for that specific thing until I find a "good enough" deal, and nothing more. no long lists. I've finished every list I need to look for on every possible interest. I can still look through them and purchase things, but won't spend time organizing them unless I will use them for NDIS specifically and have been asked to make such a list.
- YouTube - I'm replacing watching anything on YouTube with online resources and courses, reading books, and listening to music. Also updating this site, art, and creating things in general.
- TikTok - I'm no longer scrolling on TikTok for any reason. Same thing, courses and books can replace this. If I want background noise, music is far better.
- Instagram - no more scrolling on Insta. Period.
- Pinterest - with the exception of looking for reference images. Maximum 5 minutes per reference image, then straight off. No more scrolling, no more saving crap. If I need tutorials, I am only going to find the tutorial I need and not stockpile them. Just 1 tutorial at a time, then come back and get 1 more when I move onto the next one. Otherwise, there are far better sites for reference images. And same rules apply - find the reference image in 5 minutes, then leave.
- Twitter - elon musk hellsite. was a major waste of time even before then. stay the fuck away.
- Forums - with the exception of keeping up with existing friends on Discord, I'm not using forums in any way. Support groups can be an exception, but not on Discord.
- Twitch - and other livestreaming services. It's a massive time sink and leaves me feeling yucky, even when it's fun, just like YouTube and other forms of social media.
- Reddit - except to find answers to questions, and only long enough to find the answers.
- Drama sites, meme sites, dating sites, shock sites, whatever I can think up that I can waste lots of time on - seriously, stop cheating. this is for good.
Advantages of quitting social media:
I've done this before, but this is the last time, because this time, I will stick to it. I am prepared. I've had enough. If I slip up, I'll go back to quitting and act as if it never happened. This is the best way (for me). I am not a write-off because I realized this later on in life, either.
- lots of TIME. like, days become ridiculously long. I have time to do everything I want, and more.
- less chaotic mind. can think again. more dreams of code, art, and poetry instead of terrors chasing me from social media into my nightmares.
- get smarterer. learn more stuff. know more skills. get gud. become the mad art-tech genius I always dreamed of being as a kid.
- mindfulness. I can't be mindful when I spend all day taking in useless information from people I don't truly care about.
- emotional stability - or, as much as someone like me can have, at least. millions of opinions and perspectives being shoved down your throat, surprisingly, does not benefit your psychiatric or emotional health.
- ability to plan - the sludge of social media and barrage of differing opinions makes it awfully hard for me to plan, well, anything. stop that. get gud at planning, too.
- more time for real friends - ironic, really. I lose the "friends" I "made" on YouTube and other forms of social media and have all the time I need for real, flesh and blood friends (and my one and only Discord friend, hey Mr Bin Chicken! You're the only reason I'm on Discord other than to store files/images!).
- algorithms and their billionaire masters no longer control my life - I know this one sounds like satire, but it's not. my beliefs and opinions no longer belong (as much) to tech billionaires and the rich who control these sites when I leave them. At worst, I'll just gain an appreciation for music that was made from an algorithm and the tutorials/courses google wants to push to me. Less evil option. Perhaps even The Good Ending. One can hope.
- my life is my own - like the previous point, my life no longer belongs entirely to the ruling class, with the exception of those who purchase my creations. I have a fighting chance to live a fulfilling life.
- less addictions, including shopping addictions, and therefore better self-esteem and more money! - it's pretty hard for me to feel insecure about something I'm not exposed to. It's pretty hard to want a product I've never seen. It's pretty hard for me to feel like other people are better than me when I don't see them. With social media, I find there's always the next thing that I'm made to really, really want, like, I'll die if I don't have it right now, I need it right now as much as I need to breathe... yet a week later, what was that product? Oh, that thing, I haven't looked at that since I bought it. Can't be triggered into an addiction when the triggers are gone. Social media is a trigger-fest for every and any type of addiction, socially acceptable/legal or otherwise. I need to stay the fuck away. Now only my judgemental doctor can point out new things to have insecurities about that I didn't have before and sell me solutions to them. Hooray!